Here is my long awaited update! Sorry about the delay for all of you who are still faithful in checking in on me. God continues to stretch and mold me. I have been getting back into the routine that is my life. I'm happy to be home, though a part of my heart definitely stayed in Romania. Now for an update.I have always disliked the silly notion stamped on plaques seen at every art fair. "Babies are God's reminder that the world should go on." Oh yeah? Who came up with that one? Ugh! Yet, when I finished this blog post, I hated that it really reminded me of the plaques. I really did fight it, but as you read the following, it may even start a shift in your thinking as it did mine. Don't get me wrong. I still think the plaques are goofy, but . . . Recently, a friend challenged me with a quote that I know spoke to me in a totally different way than it would have before the amazing experience of the children at Tutova clinic. Basically it says that all is worse than you think it is and you are freer than you think you are. Things are raging beyond your control. But now for the good news! They are already overcome in Christ. The division is an uncrossable spiritual chasm and yet, it has been crossed. Anyone who understands salvation and knows Christ, knows this. What we forget is that it also applies to our circumstances. We do know it, but we forget.
I feel as if I'm on the brink of a major shift or transformation. God speaks to me in the oddest ways and through amazing people who don't even know their being used by Him. As I cared for the beautiful children of Tutova, I became aware of what it must have been like for all of us, moments before birth. Darkness, pressure, and uncertainty. The children of Tutova were born into that darkness. Most of us who live in America are not.
I want to fight the darkness, pressure and uncertainty in my own life circumstances. I want to believe that my "labor" is not in vain. I want to believe that what God has "stretched and delivered" me into, will be seen and understood for my future, that there will be refinement "born" of the stretching. Is a breakdown of our emotions, spirit and life necessary to have a breakthrough?
I feel like there is finally an opening, a light shining through. I want to trust in right timing. I want to feel calm and safe. I want to understand God's amazing gift of rebirth in my life.
If nothing else in the world affirms this rebirth, children do. If anything shows us the simplicity and complexity of God, children do. If anything can be so innocent, yet inspiring, indignant, but unconditional, infuriating and engaging, it is a child.
Sooooo, conclusion? Children will be God's reminder to me, that His refining fire, my journey, my growth, my world should and will go on. (But, please don't buy me the plaque!)
Thanks for your love and support during the miles you walked with me on this journey. You will never know what your emails meant to me while I was in another world so far from all that I know to be familiar. I feel as if I'm leaving behind a good friend to end this way of communicating, but this will probably be my last "Romania post". Those of you who know me well, will know how to find more of "me"on my own personal blog. God's blessings to all of you, wherever, whoever you are. :)
